Friends....How Many of Us Have Them?

In leaving I had to begin to evaluate my relationships with people. I'm not involved romantically but I do feel as if the ones who I deem my friends are important parts of who I am. Growing up an only child I take my friendships in as family and rarely do I give them a change to decide that for themselves. 

I give selflessly and without expectation of return. Or so I thought...I've not realized that my friends are better than yours and I hold them to a high regard. But....Is that fair, or is that a method that I use to fulfill an untapped emptiness?

People have a way of trying to make you feel as if they care about your well-being. It's in our nature...

"How are you?"  "What's going on?"  "How's your family?"   "If I can do anything let me know..."

All things that most of us have said, but do we really want to know the answer?

After running into a person at the mall that you haven't seen, in an unspecified time, we strike up conversation, exchange numbers, hug, smile, only to never see them until the next unexpected run-in and discuss how we never met up. Why do we suggest or say things that we don't mean? Isn't it enough just to say hi and "it's good to see you" without creating a false friend reunion?

As I was preparing to leave I made some long lost connections with people. Some who I genuinely missed, who I see rarely, but we have the type of friendship that meets for a 3hr coffee date, brunch, drink, etc. 1-3x a year and that's ok with us. There's a sort of undying connection that keeps us satisfied.

Others, who are like family but secretly only want to see you fail so that they can talk about you behind your back.

Then there are the ones who smile in your face because they know someone who cares about you and they just want to appease them.

Oh, and how can I forget, the "I miss you" friends. These are the friends who ALWAYS miss you but never seem to satisfy that feeling. No emails, no social media comments, no texts, just always misssing....miss....miss... miss...

There are the "sneak attack" friends who are the ones that make you feel like you're important to them while you're in their presence then forget you exist when you're gone. 

This phenomenon of the featherweight friendship struck me as I was preparing for departure. I was so overwhelmed with good vibes that the negative ones hit me kind of hard. I wasn't prepared to disconnect from those who I rekindled relationships with. I believed that everyone who shared my space was there because they knew I needed their support and that they wouldn't let me down. 

Truth is...have I been a good friend?

Do I:

• Give an unbiased opinion about situations
• Listen when being confided in
• Create availability to hang out, call, celebrate
• Show respect
• Remain loyal
• Support
• Create Smiles
• Comfort Tears
• Lack Judgement

Have I met the requirements of friendship that I set out for others? I'm not quite sure that I have lived up to the standards that I expect from others. And yes, I now admit that I have expectations.